literature

Mahanon Lavellan: Lathbora Viran Chapter 2

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Chapter 2

Mahanon awoke the next morning, long before Cassandra did. The sun had barely come up, and beyond the balcony, the sky was awash with pale golden light. Birds were singing their first songs as faint sunlight streamed across the bed, dancing with dust motes. Mahanon wasn’t surprised that he’d awoken early. As time went by, he found himself needing to sleep less and less. He couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten, but he could smell breakfast, warm and buttery, from the kitchen, and the fact that his stomach didn’t growl alarmed him. What was happening to him? His hand lay glowing on the sheets, and as he slowly raised it and frowned at it, Cassandra stirred bedside him.

“Mmm. Maha? Are you awake already?” she moaned.

Mahanon glanced over and smiled. She looked beautiful lying there, naked in the sunlight, the sheets twisted around her long, shapely legs. Only one of her breasts was covered, and the dark nipple stood against the cold air. She turned on her side and smiled at him. Her eyes were warm and happy, but they were worried as well.

He smiled reassuringly and slipped his arm around her. She snuggled against his chest, and he closed his eyes, smiling as the steam of her breath touched his bare skin. This was his favorite part of the day, before the world’s troubles and cares settled on his shoulders, when the world was still and birds were singing and in the silence, he could hear only the thrum of his happy heart in his own ears. He remembered the first time she rested her head on his chest, and she remarked with awe how his heart was racing. But it was always racing around her.

“Is it your Mark?” she asked him and rubbed his chest. “Is it unstable again?”

“No. Nothing’s the matter.”

“Why did you ask me to wait last night? You’ve never stopped me before. And when I did finally stop, you seemed to forget why you had asked me to.”

Mahanon laughed weakly. “Well, your mouth on certain parts of my anatomy has that general effect.”

Cassandra laughed. She rubbed his chest again and frowned. “What is it, Maha? What troubles you? It is not only my duty to protect you but also my duty to comfort you.”

“Because the Maker means for you to?” he said unhappily.

“Because I’m your lover,” she whispered.

He squeezed her apologetically in his arm and kissed her hair. She continued to rub his chest as he stared at the ceiling. “Hurry,” she said, “before Cullen or Leliana bursts in with news of a demon army marching on Skyhold.”

Mahanon laughed. But his eyes clouded and he swallowed hard as he stared at the high ceiling. How could he tell her? How could he tell her that something was happening to him and he didn’t understand what? “I was thinking of my mother,” he lied. He immediately wished he had come up with something better, as he hated thinking of his mother in general.

“Oh?” Cassandra frowned. “You have never spoken of your parents before. Tell me about her?”  

“She gave me to Clan Lavellan when I was very young. It’s standard practice,” he said shrugging against the pillows. “And it’s how we keep the clans balanced. My old clan needed warriors and hunters, Clan Lavellan needed mages. They traded me and another mage child for a pair of little boys who hadn’t shown any signs of magic. I was five. It was the last time I saw her.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Don’t the clans ever gather?”

Mahanon’s face darkened. “Once every ten years. But I was stubborn. I refused to see her. I . . . never attended.”

“It was that clan we met the day before. They made you think of her.”

“Yes.”

“What was she like? I wouldn’t wonder if you had her eyes. You have very pretty eyes.”

Mahanon smiled when Cassandra’s slender fingers touched his cheek. “She was . . . a lot like you, actually.”

Cassandra lifted her brows. “Really now?”

“She was a warrior, sword and shield. I remember the clan called her The Wolf. If humans bothered us, the keeper would threaten to get ‘The Wolf’ on them. They would laugh. Then she would come. And she’d make them eat dirt. And they would run and never come back to bother us again.”

Cassandra laughed. “She sounds absolutely wonderful.”

“My people certainly thought she was. The humans feared the Dalish because of her. Bandits avoided us, and traders didn’t dare to cheat us. She became well-known across the countryside of that particular area.”

“Which area was that?”

“Somewhere south of Nevarra? I’m not sure. I was very young, after all.”

“Ah. And what did she look like? I’m curious.”

“She had impossibly long black hair. It was always loose and wild. And she wore the vallaslin of Mythal. Her eyes were very angled and narrow, so the vallaslin made her gaze very . . . fierce. Other little boys were afraid of her. They left me alone because Viriel would spank them something terrible.”

Cassandra laughed softly. “You were lucky to have such a formidable woman as your protector. As you are lucky now.”

Mahanon smiled sadly.

Cassandra’s eyes danced over him. “But there is a reason you are angry with her, isn’t there?”

Mahanon turned his eyes away, glaring out over the balcony. “She didn’t even try to stop them taking me. She just stood there and watched. And she was so cold.”

Cassandra rubbed his chest soothingly. “I am sure it broke her heart. She didn’t have to show it.”

“Yes, she did,” he said, his face twisting. “My father held on to me. They had to pry me away! He argued with the keeper for days before that, demanding that he shouldn’t have to give me up. He fought to keep me because he loved me! She just . . . let me go.” His face darkened. “She didn’t care.”

“Maha. . . .” Cassandra turned his face to hers. “Your mother was a soldier. Soldiers do not show emotion.”

“Of course,” he said derisively and abruptly sat up. He could feel her eyes on his back as he rested his elbows on his knees. “They just bottle their emotions up until they one day snap and take everyone down with them! Isn’t that how Ostagar happened?”

Mahanon closed his eyes when Cassandra rubbed his back soothingly. She sat up and said into his ear, “Your mother understood that duty was more important than her own happiness. It was her duty to remain behind to protect your clan.”

“Just as it is your duty to become Divine?” he said in a low voice. He stared at the sheets, at his hands at they hung between his knees, at his glowing left hand and the green light that shimmered across the coverlet. And he felt helpless. All the power in his hand, all the power in the world at his feet, and he couldn’t stop the one person he cared more about than anything from walking out the door.

“Yes,” Cassandra said. “If the Maker wills it.” She kissed his cheek. “Now come to breakfast -- perhaps we can ask Solas about your hand.” She smiled at him wisely and climbed from the bed.

He sat there, smiling to himself as he watched her dress.

She always found whatever he was trying to hide.
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