Josie Shepard: Aftermath Chp 2

Chapter 2

Shepard could hear the machines beeping long before she opened her eyes. Her eyes rolled behind her eyelids, and she swallowed and frowned against the sudden swirl of dizziness and fatigue.

“She’s coming awake. Good. In another hour, I was going to suggest playing a recording of Harbinger.” Garrus. Shepard held back a smile.

“Keelah! Now is not the time for jokes!” Tali.

“Really? I thought now was the perfect time for jokes.” Dr. Chakwas. “I, for one, miss the sight of a smile on the Commander’s face. Try not to crowd her, though – not that you can help it, Wrex. I imagine you crowd any room on your own.”

Shepard heard Wrex’s deep chuckling and opened her eyes. She recognized the med bay of the Normandy. She was lying in one of the many beds and a curtain had been pulled around it to form a room in the corner. Dr. Chakwas stood over the machines and cast Shepard a smile as she scanned the clipboard in her hand. Wrex, Tali, and Garrus were seated at the edge of the bed, and Shepard could tell without looking twice that Tali was slightly drunk. Garrus had confiscated the bottle from her and was wearily shaking his head, but he caught Shepard’s eye and smiled.

EDI stood in the doorway, her hands behind her back, regarding Shepard with a small smile that said she had a joke on the tip of her artificial tongue.

Liara sat on the left side of the bed near Dr. Chakwas, a relieved smile on her face that pulled her blue lips up only slightly at the corners. Shepard thought she looked old and worn for her worry: she had bags under eyes and they were wet, as if she’d been crying. Wrex reached a big hand and patted her shoulder. She smiled at the little comfort but didn’t take her happy eyes from Shepard.

Shepard’s eyes wandered to the right side of the bed and she went still to see Kaidan there. He looked as weary and worn as Liara, and there were shadows under his eyes that were startling. His hand was on hers, and it only took her a moment to realize that most of her body was in a cast: both of her legs were bound in the clear blue glowing light, while one of her arms was similarly bound. The slender fingers peeped from the cast, and Kaidan stroked them, his warm eyes fixed on her face.

“. . . familiar faces,” Shepard croaked. “So I wasn’t resurrected by Cerberus again?” It hurt to speak. She closed her eyes and frowned against the pain as the room filled with relieved laughter.

“No, Commander,” said Dr. Chakwas, amused. “You didn’t die this time, thankfully.”

“Shepard,” Kaidan said.

Shepard opened her eyes. Kaidan looked at her, then glanced down at her stomach. She followed his gaze and froze. Her uninjured arm was lying across her belly, the white nails were long and glistening, and on her finger . . . was an engagement ring. Her heart clenched with pain, and for a moment, she thought it had stopped.  

“Kaidan . . .” Shepard rasped unhappily and swallowed again against the pain in her throat. Her eyes drifted miserably over the ceiling as she struggled not to let the tears rise. Tears of anger. Tears of pain.

“Say yes,” Kaidan whispered happily and stroked her fingers.

Shepard glanced around the room and saw the happy, expectant faces. They all thought she would be happy about the proposal? She wanted to yank the ring off her finger and hated that her other arm was in a light-cast.

Liara seemed to be the only one who had sensed Shepard would object. Her smile abruptly dropped away, and her blue eyes begged. Begged for Shepard not to get angry. Begged for Shepard to say yes and just be happy.

They were all waiting for her to say to yes. None of them understood that a person like her . . . couldn’t have a normal life. Or a happy one.

“T-Take . . .” the word rasped to silence in Shepard’s pained throat. She licked her lips and tried again, “T-Take it off . . .”

Kaidan frowned.

“Shepard responded positively when I gave her a ring,” EDI said from the door. “Perhaps there has been a breach in human protocol.”

“You could say that, EDI,” said Garrus dryly. He got to his feet. “Come on, Tali. I’ll hold your facemask while you puke.”

“That’s so sweet of you, Garrus,” Tali slurred and allowed Garrus to help her to her feet.

“It would be preferable if all of you left, in fact,” Dr. Chakwas said as she peered at the beeping machines. “Your presence has caused the Commander’s heart rate to rise to alarming heights. I’m afraid you will have to leave as well, Major Alenko,” she added and gave Kaidan an apologetic glance. “I can not risk the Commander’s recovery. I’m sure she’ll speak to you about the matter when she is feeling better.”

Kaidan swallowed hard, his eyes fixed on Shepard. “Right . . . of course, Dr. Chakwas,” he said. But he didn’t take the engagement ring from Shepard’s finger: he left it there. Shepard didn’t watch as he went out the door.

“I should give Jeff the good news,” EDI said. “I am glad to see you well, Shepard.” She smiled and turned from the room, but Shepard thought there was a hint of sadness in her smile.  

Liara smiled and touched Shepard’s shoulder before going to the door. But she stopped again when Wrex lurched to his feet and spoke.

“How can someone so smart be so stupid?” Wrex demanded, tugging up his pants and shaking his head at Shepard.

Liara bowed her head against the doorframe and closed her eyes, her back to the room. “Wrex . . .”

“Kaidan is a good sort, a good man,” Wrex went on, ignoring Liara, his chin tipping up and his pointed red crown wagging with every word. “Hell, he’s the best damn thing to happen to you. I know. You can’t tell me otherwise because I watched the two of you fall in love!”

Shepard listened miserably and angrily, her eyes averted.

“The others wanted to leave you for dead,” Wrex went on emphatically. “Figured it was a done deal this time. But Kaidan insisted we keep looking. He knew you were alive. You’re layin’ there because of him! Because he loves you! If you weren’t fragile as a piece of glass right now, I’d knock some sense into you.”

“I c-can’t . . . m-marry him,” Shepard managed hoarsely, angrily. She hated the tears that started to her eyes.

Wrex shook his head and tossed his hands. “Why the hell not!”

“Because he’ll die!” Shepard shouted, and the room went still. Dr. Chakwas watched her sympathetically, but she ignored it as she shouted hoarsely at Wrex, “He’ll die like every man I’ve ever loved if he stays near me! I’m an N7. It was always going to be this way, even before I was a spectre. I was always going to have the most dangerous assignments. If I marry him now, he’ll follow me to hell and back, and I’ll spend the rest of my life waiting for him to get killed.” She swallowed breathlessly and added, “. . . like all the others.”

Liara watched Shepard with sympathetic tears standing in her eyes.

Wrex shook his head again and pointed a finger at Shepard. “Kaidan has already followed you to hell and back sixty times. He’ll never leave your side, whether you marry him or not. You can’t order him to, you can’t bully him, you can’t push him away. He’s the one man you can’t push away, and that’s why he’s worthy of you!” He nodded righteously and dropped his hand. “Hell, if I didn’t think he was worthy, I’d have snapped his arm off the moment he started talking of marriage.”

Shepard laughed a weak, rasping laugh. “Thanks, Wrex. . . . I think.”

Liara smiled, happy to see Shepard less upset. “Come on, Wrex. Let’s let her rest.” She put a hand on Wrex’s arm.

Wrex didn’t look at Liara. His red eyes were still fixed on Shepard. “I’ve never known you to let fear stop you before. Hell, I’ve seen you kill thresher maws and Reapers with less shaking.” He nodded at the hand on Shepard’s stomach, which was indeed shaking slightly. “Is love really more terrifying than a Reaper?” He shook his head again and finally allowed Liara to coax him from the room.

Shepard looked at the engagement ring on her finger and whispered, “. . . yes.”