literature

Arwen Lavellan: Ma Nuvenin chp14

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Arwen knew where they were. It was a place not unlike the Crossroads, a place hovering between the real world and the Fade. But unlike the Crossroads, this place was not collapsing but thriving. They stepped through the mirror into a world where flowers bloomed, standing as tall as Arwen’s waist as they swayed gently in an artificial breeze. Everything was glowing with a soft white light. The effect was dazzling. And as Arwen stepped into the little world with Solas, she felt its magic tingling warm over her skin.

“It’s . . . incredible,” Arwen whispered and touched a nearby tree in awe. The tree was covered in flowers and moss and loomed to the artificial sky, tall as any building she had ever seen. It reminded her of the trees in the Emerald Graves. Solas squeezed her hand, and she glanced over to find him watching her with a little smile.

“I’m glad you like it,” he said. “It’s yours.”

Arwen looked away. “You’re making it really hard to hate you. And I’d really like to.”

Solas chuckled. “Good.” He led her by the hand toward a great tree stump, the sides of which curved like a cradle’s walls. Inside the stump, nestled in the moss, was her one-year-old son Davrin. He lay with his fat cheek on his hand, his black hair curling around the narrow eyes he had inherited from his father.

The breath caught in Arwen’s throat and tears of happiness and relief sprang to her eyes. She touched her son’s curls with a shaking hand. “You!” she hissed, snatching her hand free of Solas. She glared at him. “I thought he was dead! All this t-time --” She faltered into breathless silence when he touched her face, smoothing her trembling lip with his thumb.

Solas frowned apologetically. “Peace, Arwen. I know. I wanted to make sure he was safe before . . .”

“Before you tore the world apart,” she finished for him, eyes blazing.

“And haven’t I any right to be angry?” he said to her patiently. “You didn’t even tell me you were with child. You were pregnant during the battle against Corypheus. There was plenty of time.” He frowned.

Arwen scowled. “You lying to me is the reason he exists in the first place. Or did you forget?”

His face softened with misery. “Arwen . . .”

“No!” she snapped over him. “You lied to me and continued to lie to me, no matter how your feelings may have changed. You didn’t think I’d be able to handle it. You decided my reaction for me, just as you have with other Dalish.” She glared at him. “I was never your equal.”

Solas swallowed hard. “That isn’t true,” he said softly, almost pleading.

Arwen ignored him and looked at Davrin, who was breathing gently as he slept. “Davrin, it’s Mommy . . .” She touched his hair. “Wake up . . . Davrin?” But the boy didn’t wake. In fact, he was so still he could have been dead. Arwen looked at Solas with frightened green eyes.

Solas smiled. “He has undergone uthenera. He is a Dreamer.” His blue eyes lowered to the sleeping child, warm with pride. “Like his father.”

Arwen stared at Solas as if he’d gone mad. “He’s a child! It’s too dangerous --”

“No,” Solas insisted. He smiled, his dark brows going up. “In fact, children are far more adept at the practice. Their minds have not yet been restricted by the constructs of reality. Thus, they are prone to delve the most deeply into the Fade. And they are able to take sustenance from it far more easily.”

Arwen looked at Davrin again, her eyes worried. She touched his curls again and her eyes softened. “You could have told me you had him. Left a note. Anything. I was worrying myself to death for nothing.”

“I would have taken you with him. I thought about it. I thought about overpowering you, locking you away so you couldn’t stop what I must do.”

Arwen watched him, her head turned to take in his unhappy face. She was stiff with anger. “My people are dead because of you.”

“And I am sorry,” he said with a sad frown. “It had to be done. And many more perished besides the Dalish while some of the Dalish still thrive yet. In fact, they could remove their vallaslin now that Falon’Din and Dirthamen are finally and truly dead. They could start anew. It’s what I wanted for them.”

Arwen scowled. “And what about what we want? Did you ever stop to think that perhaps we should have a say in our own destiny?” She shook her head. “You really are a god, aren’t you? You think you know what’s best for us and you don’t even stop to consider.”

“You are right,” he said, startling her into staring. He sighed heavily. “The People chose you. And for a while . . .” He smiled. “. . . I chose you too. I was willing to let it all go, to walk at your side as I helped you forge the world anew. But I knew things would never get better for the elves unless I acted alone.”

“Bullshit,” Arwen said with a sarcastic laugh. “You care nothing for my people. You unlocked Arlathan to save ancient Elvhen. No one else.”

“Arwen --”

“You care nothing for my people!” she repeated over him. She was livid.

He looked at her unhappily. “I care. I did not rejoice when they fell.”

“But you let them fall,” she snapped, “so the ancient Elvhen could be free. You were thinking of Abelas, not of Keeper Hawen, not of the any of the Dalish you so easily cast aside.” She nodded her head at the child sleeping in the stump. “Pull him out of it. I’m taking my child and I’m leaving.”

“He’s my child too,” Solas returned quietly.

Arwen glared at him. “Try and stop us.”

Solas drew close. “I did what had to be done, for my people and for yours. They can begin again, and maybe this time, they’ll get it right. Now my task is done, and all I desire is that you stay here with me. I will not stop you if you wish to go, but I need you to forgive me. I need it. And you need it too.” He touched her cheek. “Please, vhenan.”

Her lashes lowered as she tried to ignore his touch, the soothing softness of his words. “I don’t need you,” she said to the grass.

He looked at her miserably. “Try.”

She took a deep breath. His eyes were on her, shimmering with sadness, warm with love. His affectionate fingers stroked down her hair, which hung loose around her shoulders and down her back. She knew what he would do if she were to take Davrin and leave: he would slip into uthenera, and perhaps this time, he would never wake. He would die alone here, in this world in-between, missing her and wanting her in sadness and despair. And though she tried to fight it, she knew she would miss him and want him just as greatly.

After a long and tense pause, Solas took his hand away. “Ma nuvenin,” he said unhappily. He was taking a step back when Arwen grabbed him and kissed him. He stiffened with surprise but melted almost instantly, wrapping his arms tight around her in a kiss as relieved as it was passionate. Their lips parted, and he held her close, smiling into her eyes.

“You’ll stay with me,” he said, breathless and happy.

Her lips brushed his as she whispered, “As I wish.”
This fan fiction basically tried to make Mythal and Sandal's words come true. Mythal said the world would tremble with a reckoning (perhaps not literally, but I had the world shake when Arlathan came back) and Sandal said the sky would open (the breach, obviously -- and I had Solas open it again), "he" would rise (I had Solas raise Arlathan), and the magic would come back, making everyone as they were (I had the magic come back, making elves immortal and magical again). 

That's that, I guess. I'm dying to see how this story really ends, though. 

Thanks for reading. :peace:

EDIT: I changed this up a bit because I think my Lavellan would be pissed at Solas to discover he lied to her all that time, then went and did something terrible on top of it. But she would still forgive him. Because at the end of the day, she will always love him. 

I wanted this to end with them entering uthernera together and walking the Fade with their child for all eternity. Maybe I'll rewrite it again. 
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